AGOOEYMESS

I had to take a long break, i couldnt come to this point again. i dont want to whine, and that is all i would have done, or sobbed, or ached.

i hate to admit it but i do find inspiration in pain, but the incredible irony is that i want to hide away from the world, so the inspiration is meaningless because i dont want the audience that would be needed. i dont really want you to know me. but maybe i do. how much more twisted can it get than that? that i am afraid of you, but need you at the same time. i dont want to speak but i'm dying inside to yell at the top of my lungs? how broken am i.

damn, thats not what this is supposed to be about. it's really not, but i suppose i couldnt get away that easily. transition... i dont know how to transition this, i guess i can hope that this just comes off and seems creative..

transition

Love.

I was thinking last week, amid the ruins of so many things, i always go back to love, because it seems like thats where we fall from. So many issue stem from the inability or misunderstanding or even the flat out not caring.

How guilty am i? guilty enough to know that my soul sings at the mere thought of being forgiven.

i wouldnt be good at writing a directions manual. i couldnt do it. i would have people so turned in differet ways the would be sleeping in their sinks and doing their morning business in the washer.

but i am going to try here and now.

How to show love in a practical way

Lesson one

You are not better than anyone

Example one

When a telemarketer calls you up, dont be a duck (yes... duck... quack quack, you as the reader may insert whatever word you like). They have a job to do, just like you do, they no more want to go to work and have people treat them like dog excrement than you do, but somehow, it has become our national pastime in beating them (yes i'm guilty as well, i'm just trying to make the world a better place, and if that means i have to grow in order to do it, so be it). Lets go a step further, how about the overseas telemarketer, you know, the one you can barley understand and who would butcher your last name even if your last name happens to be smith? Think... Dell computer support.. there you go. is there any wonder why the world might think that the citizens of the united states of american are a bunch of ducks (quack quack)? i would not want to take the abuse a telemarketer does, but, i think i would rather spend a lifetime as one, rather than an outsources foreign one. seriously, what if you got up for work every morning (remember, that is the responsible thing to do, that is something to be admired), you take care of your family by doing what you have to do. you know, all day long you will be either misunderstood, put down, made fun of, hung up on, cussed out, and all of this by the worlds wealthiest people.... do you think you might get a chip on your shoulder after the first hour?


i am no good at writing directions, i knew i wouldnt be.